Author: joeltagert

The Artist in the Flesh

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The Artist In The Flesh by Joel Tagert | Art by Moon_Patrol

“The Artist in the Flesh” appears in Birdy 106, from October 2022, with art by @moon_patrol. Alternate title “Chupacabra Chop a Cow, Bra”?

The steer had been flayed and dissected, its skin, organs and bones arranged upon the shrubland in a meticulous mandala with the animal’s heart at its center, a cloud of black flies fighting the Wyoming wind to claim their share of the bounty. Dick Gerlits stalked slowly around the circle — fifty feet from edge to edge — a scowl steadily cutting deeper into his leathered features.

“What do you think, boss?” asked Hector.

Gerlits took his time answering. “I think I’m gonna find the son of a bitch that did this and nail his fucking hide to my wall. If it’s the last thing I do in this life, I’m gonna find him.”

“Well, watch out if you do,” said JJ. “Cause this son of a bitch has got a sharp knife.”

The Widows’ Pilgrimage

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The Widow’s Pilgrimage by Joel Tagert | Art by Ali Hoff

“The Widows’ Pilgrimage” appears in Birdy 105, September 2022, with art by Ali Hoff. The Bears of Umbre battle a Niroan Legion for control of the elemental Widows. Blood and gold!

Bears of Umbre! Soon you’ll step foot on the Red Shore. Why “red”? Blood and gold, that’s why! Look at those Widows. Eight of ’em, each dripping with treasure, ripe for the taking. The fortune of a lifetime, and all that stands between us and them are some Niroan cunts. So gnash your teeth! Bite and claw! Tear out their throats, hack off their balls, spit in their eyes! Umbre, fuel my rage! Maka, lend me your thirst! Ogin, whet my axe! Blood and gold! Blood and gold! Blood and gold!

Surf’s Up at Apocalypse Beach

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Surf’s Up At Apocalypse Beach by Joel Tagert | Art by Caitlyn Grabenstein

“Surf’s Up at Apocalypse Beach” appears in Birdy #104, Aug. 2022, with art by Caitlyn Grabenstein. Don’t let the end of the world ruin your day, dude.

Something wet slaps onto the windshield. “Shit,” I cough, since I got a hit in me, then cough a lot more, til I wonder if I’m hallucinating.

It looks like a frog. A freaky, slimy, gray-green frog the size of a mandarin orange, except it must be some kind of mutant cause it’s got a membrane between its arms and legs, like a flying squirrel. It’s not even dead. It hops away.

Then another hits the windshield. And another. It’s raining frogs.

“What was in that joint, dude?”

No Escape From the Storm

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No Escape From the Storm by Joel Tagert | Art by Caitlyn Grabenstein

“No Escape From the Storm” appears in Birdy #102, June 2022, with art by Caitlyn Grabenstein (@cult.class). Like Thelma & Louise, but interdimensional.

So she pulled out of the line and flipped around in the parking lot to head back toward the on-ramp. As she did, she saw a funnel start to descend toward the low scrub hills. Suddenly Aliya’s reaction didn’t seem so unreasonable. “Holy shit.” Her foot stomped on the gas like she was wearing concrete boots. She’d never been more grateful for a twenty-year-old V6. 

The Sword That Kills: Spiritual Warriorship and the Middle Way

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From a talk delivered at the Zen Center of Denver on Sunday, Feb. 6, 2022. Listen on the ZCD’s website at https://zencenterofdenver.org/the-sword-that-kills/.

Harada Daiun Sogaku, a teacher in our lineage whose name we recite in our Ancestral Teachers chant, wrote in 1934:

The spirit of Japan is the Great Way of the [Shinto] gods. It is the substance of the universe, the essence of the Truth. The Japanese people are a chosen people whose mission is to control the world. The sword [that] kills is also the sword [that] gives life. Comments opposing war are the foolish opinions of those who can only see one aspect of things and not the whole.

Politics conducted on the basis of a constitution are premature, and therefore fascist politics should be implemented for the next ten years…. Similarly, education makes for shallow, cosmopolitan persons. All the people of this country should do Zen. That is to say, they should all awake to the Great Way of the Gods. This is Mahayana Zen. (qtd. in Victoria 137)

“The sword that kills is the sword that gives life.” Few phrases in Zen have been so abused. Here a master in our own lineage—praised by Philip Kapleau and Taizan Maezumi, among others—used it to defend fascism and Japanese imperialism. If the central insight of Zen is that form is emptiness and emptiness form, and everything else amounts to “the foolish opinions of those who can only see one aspect of things,” then it seems Zen can be twisted to any purpose whatsoever. What then are we to make of Zen training and realization?

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The Temple of Duma Veil

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The Temple of Duma Veil By Joel Tagert | Art by Ali Hoff

“The Temple of Duma Veil” appears in Birdy #97, January 2022, with art by Ali Hoff. A pandemic story if ever there was.

When the mages finished, Haverna was a blazing ruin. It had been the greatest city on the continent, home to a million souls. In the bazaar, merchants had hawked everything from steel spearheads to aromatic spices, women in bright silk dresses walked with baskets full of fish and fruit, child beggars pulled at your tunic as you sampled chewy candies. It was a place to overwhelm the senses, full of riotous life and color.

Now it was an inferno, the flames hundreds of feet high, the smoke blacking out the sun. It was, we were told, the only option, and this was hard to argue, considering the trouble we had containing the infected.

The Dexter Fox

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Dexter Fox by Joel Tagert | Art by Ali Hoff

“The Dexter Fox” appears in Birdy #96, Nov. 2021, with art by Ali Hoff.

The fae were huge fans of cryptic verses. They passed them around like joints at a reggae show. Frankly he hated them. Why couldn’t they draw a decent map, or at least write some straightforward directions? Never once had he consulted a fae augur and had them say, Turn right at the big oak tree, walk six miles along the stream, and there you go.