The Widows’ Pilgrimage

“The Widows’ Pilgrimage” appears in Birdy 105, September 2022, with art by Ali Hoff. The Bears of Umbre battle a Niroan Legion for control of the elemental Widows. Blood and gold!

Bears of Umbre! Soon you’ll step foot on the Red Shore. Why “red”? Blood and gold, that’s why! Look at those Widows. Eight of ’em, each dripping with treasure, ripe for the taking. The fortune of a lifetime, and all that stands between us and them are some Niroan cunts. So gnash your teeth! Bite and claw! Tear out their throats, hack off their balls, spit in their eyes! Umbre, fuel my rage! Maka, lend me your thirst! Ogin, whet my axe! Blood and gold! Blood and gold! Blood and gold!

Surf’s Up at Apocalypse Beach

“Surf’s Up at Apocalypse Beach” appears in Birdy #104, Aug. 2022, with art by Caitlyn Grabenstein. Don’t let the end of the world ruin your day, dude.

Something wet slaps onto the windshield. “Shit,” I cough, since I got a hit in me, then cough a lot more, til I wonder if I’m hallucinating.

It looks like a frog. A freaky, slimy, gray-green frog the size of a mandarin orange, except it must be some kind of mutant cause it’s got a membrane between its arms and legs, like a flying squirrel. It’s not even dead. It hops away.

Then another hits the windshield. And another. It’s raining frogs.

“What was in that joint, dude?”

The Sword That Kills: Spiritual Warriorship and the Middle Way

From a talk delivered at the Zen Center of Denver on Sunday, Feb. 6, 2022. Listen on the ZCD’s website at https://zencenterofdenver.org/the-sword-that-kills/.

Harada Daiun Sogaku, a teacher in our lineage whose name we recite in our Ancestral Teachers chant, wrote in 1934:

The spirit of Japan is the Great Way of the [Shinto] gods. It is the substance of the universe, the essence of the Truth. The Japanese people are a chosen people whose mission is to control the world. The sword [that] kills is also the sword [that] gives life. Comments opposing war are the foolish opinions of those who can only see one aspect of things and not the whole.

Politics conducted on the basis of a constitution are premature, and therefore fascist politics should be implemented for the next ten years…. Similarly, education makes for shallow, cosmopolitan persons. All the people of this country should do Zen. That is to say, they should all awake to the Great Way of the Gods. This is Mahayana Zen. (qtd. in Victoria 137)

“The sword that kills is the sword that gives life.” Few phrases in Zen have been so abused. Here a master in our own lineage—praised by Philip Kapleau and Taizan Maezumi, among others—used it to defend fascism and Japanese imperialism. If the central insight of Zen is that form is emptiness and emptiness form, and everything else amounts to “the foolish opinions of those who can only see one aspect of things,” then it seems Zen can be twisted to any purpose whatsoever. What then are we to make of Zen training and realization?

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Prism and Prison

“Prism and Prison” appears in Birdy #91, July 2021, with art by Hide Miyagawa. It’s fascinating how metaphors – which is to say, stories – can both offer new perspectives and lock us into just one. Ultimately all concepts fall short of reality, and the universe is always greater than our thoughts about it; but this is not to say it is something concrete, but rather is infinitely labile, wood turning to smoke, gasses condensing into planets.

Humans are not machines, she told herself. The brain is not a computer.”

The Dream Machine

Here’s a Birdy story I wrote with the help of an AI. Basically, at key junctures in the narrative I would feed the preceding paragraph or two into https://app.inferkit.com/demo, a predictive neural network, and then incorporate the text it gave me into the story. Really I could have carried this much further (and perhaps still will), but I think the result is gloriously weird.

* Edit May 2024: This story aged kind of hilariously, given that the tech it used was already dated at the time it was written, and very shortly ChatGPT revolutionized AI text generators. I’ll have to consider how to best make use of the new tech…

The Dream Machine By Joel Tagert

Fudō Myōō, Champion of the Middle Way

Fudō Myōō, Champion of the Middle Way.

A few weeks ago I was feeling bored and restless (as one does during a pandemic), when I suddenly remembered: I know how to draw! So I broke out my Prismacolors, as I have not done in many a moon, and with little forethought drew this Fudō Myōō. Known as “the Immovable Wisdom King,” Fudō Myōō is most often depicted seated on a stone to symbolize that immovability, but here is shown seated on a lotus amid the flames, a symbol of the Middle Way of Buddhism. It may be that many people conceive of Buddhist practice as little more than navel-gazing, but don’t be deceived: to face life directly requires a fierce and steadfast spirit.

On a technical note, I’m afraid the photo can’t really do justice to the image, and you’ll just have to take my word that the colors are astonishingly vibrant. This was my first time using Prismacolor markers in combination with the color pencils, and I was amazed at the saturation. Feel like it’s what I’ve been looking for for years.

oksestina

I find the name revealing: okcupid,
all lower case, as though its creators want
to lower expectations from the outset. Don’t ask
too much, they gently hint. Our silicon love-
god is only okay. If you want a heart on fire,
you’ll have to work to light the arrow.

Or, to be more accurate, a hundred arrows,
shot with thumbs alone by a glazed-eyed Cupid
ensconced on the couch, belly full of ice cream, firing
off messages at a crowd of tiny pixels, wanting
to sound clever, funny, honest, worthy of love
and attention, pondering the right thing to ask

someone he knows very little about, while asking
whether it’s worth it, given the slings and arrows
of our current outrageous fortune, the likelihood of love
during a pandemic. And incidentally, why is Cupid
a fat little baby, anyway? I don’t even want
kids. Shouldn’t he (or she) be some Polynesian fire-

dancer, sweat-damp skin gleaming, torch fires
spinning in the ocean-scented dark? Let’s ask
more from our match- and myth-makers. I want
a passion cosmic, our bodies comets, bright arrows
arcing across sheets of night, a belted Cupid
usurping Orion to bestride the skies with love.

Or, equally, a simple, unencumbered love,
someone with whom I can sit by the fire,
talk about books, make out, mock okcupid,
go dancing, do yoga, take long walks, ask
intimate questions, watch fucking Arrow
on late-night if that’s what we want.

(Probably not. Terrible show.) Point is, I want
what anyone wants: an ordinary transcendent love
that today, alas, is found by pressing the arrow
keys to scroll up and down, inserting fire
emojis like ammo in a catapult, asking
one last favor from an artificial Cupid.

Let’s finally fire whoever runs okcupid.
Message me, ask whatever you want.
Make a joke about arrows. Fall in love.